Why Small Groups Work Best for Meeting New People at Bars
Think about the last time you met someone new at a bar. Maybe you bonded over your favorite team, debated an all-time great, or just had one of those unexpectedly good conversations.
Now, think about the last time you tried to really connect with someone in a group of 10+ people at a packed bar.
Yeah… not the same.
Large groups sound fun in theory, but in practice, they don’t work for real connections. Conversations split, people get left out, and most interactions stay surface-level. That’s why groups of 3-6 people are the sweet spot.
The Problem with Large Groups at Bars
At first glance, a big meetup sounds great—more people, more energy, more chances to connect. But social psychology tells us something different.
1. The Ringelmann Effect: The More, the Less Engaged
Ever been in a large group where half the people barely talk? That’s the Ringelmann Effect—a social psychology concept that shows the bigger a group gets, the less effort each individual puts in.
- In a group of 10+ people, most assume others will carry the conversation, so they take a back seat.
- In a group of 3-5 people, everyone feels responsible for contributing, leading to better engagement and real conversation.
This is why smaller groups feel more natural—because everyone has to participate, and no one fades into the background.
2. Large Groups Naturally Break Apart
Harvard social scientist Robert Bales studied how conversations flow in different group sizes. His research found that 4-5 people is the maximum for a sustained conversation before side discussions form.
- With 10+ people, the group automatically fractures into mini-conversations.
- With 3-6 people, you can actually have one conversation where everyone participates.
That’s why large group meetups don’t feel as fulfilling—you don’t get to know everyone, just the couple of people next to you.
3. Big Groups Stay Surface-Level
When a group is too big, conversations turn into quick back-and-forth exchanges, and it’s hard to build any real connection.
- People might remember your take on the game, but they probably won’t remember your name.
- With 3-6 people, there’s enough space for real conversations—where you actually get to know each other beyond just small talk.
How I Know This Works
I realized how much small groups matter when I looked at my own texts. The last 6-7 people I’ve messaged? All people I met through TheAssist.
And the common thread?
I met all of them in small group meetups.
At larger ones, I met a lot of people, but I didn’t really get to know anyone. But in groups of 3-6? That’s where I actually made friendships—where the conversations weren’t just about the game, but about our lives, work, and other interests.
TheAssist: Optimized for Real Connections
At TheAssist, we intentionally keep groups small when matching fans to watch games together at bars. Why? Because we’ve seen firsthand that it works:
✅ Enough people for energy, but not chaos
✅ No one gets left out or awkwardly stuck on the edges
✅ You actually remember the people you meet
✅ It’s easier to hang out again next time
Our early results back this up—nearly 25% of people who come to an event have come back for another.
Try It Yourself
The next time you go to a bar, test this: Compare your experience in a group of 3-6 vs. 10-12. See which one feels more natural.
Then, come try it with us at TheAssist—where we match you with small groups of fans who actually want to connect.
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